Tuesday, February 20, 2018

When Someone Stops Loving You

"When someone stops loving you it don't make the evening news.  It don't keep the sun from rising, the clock from winding, your heart from beating even when you want it to.  When someone stops loving you." Little Big Town

Ok ya'll I started this on Valentine's Day but didn't get it finished.  Valentine's Day can be hard for some and some times it brings back too many memories for me as well.  So this year I didn't take the chance of crying in my heart shaped chocolates, I went to dinner with all my single lady friends and one who's husband was out of town.  Together we laughed and talked about Valentine's past, what we loved, what we missed but most importantly we weren't making reservations for one.

Of course we don't want our love story playing out on the evening news but any of us who have been through a breakup knows it's about the same thing because it's playing right in front of our friends and family. Might as well be on the evening news.  Some thinking how sad and some thinking "I told you so."  Well they can be sad all the want but for sure no one better say to me "I told you so."

The hardest thing when love stops is definitely walking into a crowded room trying to look like you're glad to be there.  Trying to put on a smile like it don't both you or listening to the radio like it ain't your song that's on.  Lord have mercy I can manage the crowded room but dang if a song comes on that reminds me of a love past, just shoot me because I can become a blubbering fool in the blink of an eye, and I can name that tune in one note.  Yes, that's right I said one note.

So how many of us still keep the number in our phone, just in case.  Just in case one night the ex is all alone and calls us.  I'm sure if my ex still has my number in his phone it's because he can recognize me if I'm calling to let him know how bad he is. Yep, I did it a few times, a few more times and then a few more times.  Ya'll can stop laughing, I know it was stupid, but at the time I didn't care.  It took me a long time to realize he didn't deserve a treasure like me and an even longer time to see how stupid it was.  Bless my little heart, I couldn't help it, no one told me how to handle a breakup.  I mean he did cross his heart that day 21 years ago and promised to make all my dreams come true.

Lesson today?  Who in the world knows on this one but I think Miranda Lambert sang it best, so let's use her words for our lesson today.  "Go ahead and fix your make up girl it's just a break up.  Hide your crazy and start actin' like a lady.   Powder your nose, paint your toes, line your lips and keep 'em closed.  Cross your legs, dot your I's and never let 'em see you cry."  Moving on doesn't mean that you have forgotten everything, it's just that you accept the circumstances and choose to live a happy life still.  So go ahead, put on your best boots and pick your head up princess, your tiara is falling.

  Love to all,
  Sweet Southern Sass


Tuesday, February 6, 2018

Life's About To Get Good

"I wasn't just broken, I was shattered.  I trusted you so much, you're all that mattered.  You no longer love me and I sang like a sad bird.  I couldn't move on and I think you were flattered."  Shania Twain

Lord have mercy, this is "about to get good."  LOL  I heard this song just now and oh my gosh so many thoughts and memories rushed through my head about my marriage and divorce.  I can laugh about so many things now that only made me cry when it happened.  My heart was broken but most importantly, my spirit was shattered.  I do not know for the life of me how my friends and family put up with me.  I was SO, SO sad and it almost broke me beyond repair.  But you know what they say...You can't keep a good woman down.

The longer the tears fell, the wider the river but I still held on to what might of been.  It killed me that things didn't get better, but it didn't,  so I had to figure out what to do next.  It took me a long time to get strong and move on, but with the help of my friends and family and MILLIONS of prayers by golly I had the will to walk away.  The will to walk away and not look back, the will to understand sometimes things just don't work, and the will to believe it was for the best.   It hurts to heal but I'm alive and I hold on to what I can feel.  I hold on to the memories that are good and I let go of all the hurt and the bad memories.  Sometimes the hurt creeps back in but I've learned with many hours of professional training as I call it, that you just have to feel it and leave it where it belongs, in the past.

Today's Lesson?  "Life's about to get good, oh life's about to get good."  If you find yourself in my situation, take a minute and think about it.  Take a minute and feel the hurt.  Take a minute and remember the memories that are good, but for goodness sake don't tarry on the bad ones.  Those are the ones that will keep you from moving on and give them the power and we don't want that.  We want to forgive and walk away with our head held high because we are strong.  Walk away because you're ready to be loved, loved the way you should.   Go ahead now, hold your head high, straighten your crown and sing with me.  "Oh, life's about to get good, life's about to get good.  yes, life's about to get good.

   Love to all,
  Sweet Southern Sass

Sunday, January 21, 2018

The Older I Get

"The Older I get the more I think you only get a minute, better live while you're in it, cause it's gone in a blink.  And the older I get the truer it is.  It's the people you love, not the money and stuff that makes you rich."  Alan Jackson

 I've always been one to "fly by the seat of my pants" taking chances when I shouldn't and living in the moment.  The older I get the more I think about those things.  Had I been more like my sisters and followed ALL the rules how would that changed my life as it is.  Would I have been any wiser, probably not because I went to the same school they did and I even graduated "thank you Jesus" from Brenau University.  Whoopeee, yeah me at 52 years old I'm a college graduate.  But maybe, just maybe, if  I were more like them I could be retired, or married 30+ years like most of them and maybe have a little more money.  But as I'm writing this, I'm thinking OK so what if I had been more of a rule follower, with my personality would it matter?  Again, I don't think so because I'm just a rowdy individual with a gypsy soul.  Now ya'll figure that one out.  LOL

"Funny how it feels I'm just getting to my best years yet."  This sorta makes me giggle because I always thought my best years were in my forties.  How in the world can I be getting my best years at 60+ years old?  My hair is graying (unless you know my hairdresser), my bones ache, I make three or four trips to bathroom EVERY night and it takes a dadgum crane to get out of bed every morning.  What's worse is EVERYTHING and I mean everything isn't in the same place it was 20 years ago and where in the world did this extra 20 pounds come from. They call it a muffin top but I don't remember eating that many muffins, but it could be the cheetos.

Fewer friends?  Nope, I still have the same friends I've had for years.  I may have lost a few because I voted but Trump, but the way I see that, they weren't true friends.  They're the ones that wouldn't have my back and they certainly wouldn't be there if I needed them in a crisis.  To those friends who have been there forever, thank you from the bottom of my heart.  The older I get the better I am at knowing when to give and when to just not give a damn.  So for those that don't like my presidential choice I guess I didn't lose any sleep or give a damn.  Crap, did I write that out loud?  LOL  Probably gonna lose a few more friends over that but oh well.

"I don't mind all the lines from all the times I've laughed and cried, souvenirs and little signs of the life I've lived."   If I could find the fountain of youth, I might take a sip or two, just to erase a few wrinkles but the wrinkles left are the survival lines of my life.  Each line holding a story, a laugh or a memory.  Besides that if I sipped away all my wrinkles I would look like everyone else and we all know that ain't gonna happen.
Lesson for today?  Don't worry about the wrinkles!!!  Wrinkles mean you laughed, grey hair means you cared and scars mean you lived!  If you have wrinkles on your brow don't take them away, laugh some more and for the love of Peter, Paul & Mary, don't let them be written on the heart and wrinkle the soul.  The spirit should never grow old.   Let's pray longer and be more thankful!  Thankful for the life we've had and the life we're still living.

    Love to all,
    Sweet Southern Sass


Monday, January 8, 2018

Chances Are

"Chances are I took the wrong turn every time I had a turn to make and I guess I broke my own heart every chance I had a heart to break.  And it seems I spent my whole life wishin' on the same unlucky star."  Lee Ann Womack

Ok ya'll go ahead and admit it we've all made a wrong turn now and then, but dang I've made so many wrong turns, my road is as crooked as a dog's hind leg as my daddy says.  LOL  I'm always wishin' on an unlucky star thinking it's the next big thing.  Yeah I will admit, I'm a dreamer but if you can't dream then what the heck.

"As I watch you 'across the barroom I wonder what my chances are."  This brings to mind a story about a friend of mine from long years ago.  He was the best looking man this side of Texas and he knew it.  Because he was so into himself, I was determined I would at least get a dance.  Well, it took a few times, but I got the dance and we became good friends.  He was my go to person when I needed a date and bless his heart, I sure did make him look good.  He told me once he didn't have a choice being my friend because I wouldn't leave him alone.

Like most every heart has a story.  Mine may have a few more scars than most but it's a heart that has loved and lost, tried and failed, and lived a little too far outside the box sometimes and wished I hadn't the next day.  Michael Jordan once said "I can accept failure, everyone fails at something, but I can't accept not trying."  Thank you Michael Jordan for those words of wisdom because now I don't feel so bad about those things that most people think are failures.  I've decided they weren't failures, they were just life experiences that I learned from and moved on.

"I have watched the world go by, hand in hand and wondered why I'm still alone."  I'm sure all us single ladies have asked this question, me being one of them.  I've been there, done that and I have the wedding dress to prove it but at the end of the day I still ask the question.   If you ask him (him being the ex-husband)  he would tell you it's MY fault and my story on a good day is it's ALL HIS fault.  Now that I am a mature adult (ya'll quit laughing) maybe it wasn't either, it just didn't work.  Maybe  the keeper of the stars didn't have a hand in it on the day HE crossed his heart to make all my dreams come true.  Maybe the storms were too rough, the love and laughter weren't for a lifetime and now he's gone.  Gone like a freight train, gone like yesterday, gone like a '59 Cadillac...He's gone, gone, gone.

Lesson for today?  I think today it will be to never give up. Just because you feel you've failed at something that didn't work out, doesn't mean you're a failure.  It doesn't mean you have a big L on your forehead, it just means you had a life experience that might not have been the best.  Let's just file it away in file 13, chalk it up to life experiences and move on.  Just let it be gone like a freight train, gone like a '59 Cadillac, just GONE, GONE, GONE.

    Love to all
   Sweet Southern Sass

Monday, January 1, 2018

Happy New Year

"Happy New Year, Happy New Year.  Let's raise a glass, here's to you dear.  Now I was hoping that I'd find you here, just to wish you a Happy New Year.:"  Kid Rock

2017 is over and 2018 is here. I decided to bring in the New Year at home last night.  Not because I didn't have places to go, but because I was tired from seeing my friends play music on Thursday AND Friday. Reflecting on 2017 I have been both sad and happy.  Sad that I've lost two Aunts, several classmates from school and too many friends.  One thing for sure I'm happy that I made it another year and for the most part it was a good year.

It was a good year that I still have a job, a place to live and my family are all close enough we can still eat at my mom's on Sunday's.  My mom reminded me last night this time last year she was in the hospital having a stent but she got home in time for New Year's Day with her family.  We laughed because she said I let the collards ruin.  The truth is SHE left them in the sink and because she wasn't there to make sure they were OK, they spoiled.  So ME to the rescue.  LOL, now that's funny just writing it.   We didn't have the fresh collards from her garden but we had collards (the bag kind from Kroger) and the main thing is my mama was home from the hospital to tell me how to cook them.  They may not have been as good as my mama's but we were all there together and that my friends is a blessing.  One that I will always remember.  Well now that my mama reminded me.

This is a short post because my mama didn't have to go to the hospital this year, my daddy is feeling better, the Georgia Bulldogs are playing in the Rose bowl and I've got to get a move on.  I've got to get to my mama's house because we're having the REAL collards from her garden, black eye peas and cornbread.  But the biggest reason I gotta get going is because my family is waiting on me to get there so we can begin the New Year like it should be.  TOGETHER as family. If y'all hear craziness coming from somewhere close it's just us yelling at the TV because my one brother things Oklahoma is going to win and the rest of us KNOW Georgia is going to win and play Clemson in the championship.  Now when this happens, of course we will need another party because my nephew went to Clemson and most of us will be pulling for Georgia so the only way I can described this family get together is a "house divided."

Lesson today?  Spend time with your family.  It doesn't have to be a special day, just make it a special day because you're together.  I know we will today and hopefully many more in the New Year.

       Happy New Year,
        Love to all!!!
         Sweet Southern Sass

Wednesday, November 22, 2017

Count Your Blessings

"When upon life's billows you are tempest tossed.  When you are discouraged, thinking all is lost.  County your many blessings, name them one by one, and it will surprise you what the Lord hath done.  Are you ever burdened with a load of care?  Does the cross seem heavy you are called to bear?"  Guy Penrod

Tomorrow being Thanksgiving I thought this would be an appropriate song to reflect over the year and count my blessings.  Not that it takes Thanksgiving for me to count my blessings, but it is the holiday people recognize as the day of THANKS.

This song came to mind Monday night when I woke up during the night and couldn't go back to sleep. I was whining around, complaining because I felt bad and couldn't sleep.  I complained all day yesterday then I thought about the people that are REALLY sick.  Sick with cancer or any other disease that makes them sick EVERY day.  I thought about the people who are hungry as I was complaining that I wished I hadn't eaten so much.  I thought about the homeless as I was wrapped up in my blanket trying to get warm.  I just thought about people in general that are much less fortunate than what little I do have.

I remember singing this song as a kid but I'm sure I never stopped to think about counting my blessings.  I mean as a kid who thinks about being thankful for the food you have, the roof over your head and the clothes on your back. That's what parents are for, right?   So today, being Thanksgiving Eve I want to count my MANY blessings.  I have more than enough to eat, a house to keep me warm, clothes way more than I need and a job that allows me to buy these things. I have a family and friends that I love, both my parents are still living, and a loving God that is the reason I'm able to write this blog with a heart of gratitude and thankfulness.

Tomorrow my family will eat at my grandmother's house and there will be lots of food, catching up and laughter.   I will miss my grandparents who aren't with us anymore and this year my Aunt Mary won't be there but we still have plenty to be thankful for.  Thankful that my Aunts still have Thanksgiving for my dad's side of the family since my grandparents are gone, thankful that my mama is still able to cook turkey and dressing for us, thankful that my dad is able to come to Thanksgiving, thankful for my aunts and uncles that will be there and thankful for all the fun we will have just enjoying being together.

My lesson today is so simple it doesn't take a rocket scientist to figure it out.  Count your blessings, no matter how big or small.  Count your blessings one by one.  Count your blessings money can't buy.   Count your blessings and give back if you can.  I know I will!!!!  I'm walking in a walk that cans of food is the entry fee to help with the hungry and before I have my own Thanksgiving dinner I'm serving at the local homeless shelter.  No I don't do it for the praise or recognition, I do it because I can.  I do it because I hope that for just one day, people can be hopeful and more importantly that they feel love on this Thanksgiving day.

  Love to all and Happy Thanksgiving!!!
   Sweet Southern Sass