How many times do we hear, where did time go, it seems like yesterday you were a baby. Well I can tell you I think it all the time. My son is now 38 years old and it's so hard to believe he is grown, married and has children of his own. Lord have mercy where does time go?
Sometimes when I'm alone and think about time, my mistakes and if I would do anything different I wonder if he thinks I was/am a good mother. I was so young and didn't know a thing about being a mother but I did try. I always gave him praise when he did good, but he also got his hiney tore up if he got in trouble. Being a single mom there were a lot of things I did as both parents. He was involved in every sport growing up, so that meant I was the one catching the baseball when he was learning to pitch, catching the football when he was the little squirt learning that and believe it or not I coached him when he played basketball. I was probably harder on him than anyone because I wanted him to be the best at anything he did.
I remember his little arms reaching up for a hug, crying because he got hurt but more importantly I remember the giggles and laughs that just warmed my heart. Warmed my heart because I knew he wouldn't be giving those hugs forever and the giggles & laughter would turn to being grown up with responsibilities. Now he's not little any more, he's all grown up with his own kids and I see him doing the same thing I did. I see him playing on the floor or outside with his boys when he should be cutting the grass or some other grown-up responsibility . I hear him laughing with his boys just like I did with him and that warms my heart as much as hearing him when he was little. So maybe, just maybe my parenting skills weren't as bad as I thought.
"So innocent, a precious soul, you turn around, it's time to let them go." The first time he went off to basketball camp, he said don't be hugging me in front of my team. Guess what? I didn't listen. But neither did the other mom's standing outside that bus watching their sons leave on a week-long trip for the first time. That was hard but even harder was when he got married. Bless my heart I couldn't decide on a mother-son dance song because every time I tried I cried like a baby. So you can only imagine what happened at the wedding. Yep, I cried like a baby the whole dance, patting him on the shoulder and holding on for dear life. I mean he was about to leave to start a new chapter in his life and I was afraid those hugs would be fewer and further between.
Lesson today? "Let them be little, give them hope, give them praise, give them love every day. Let 'em cry, let 'em giggle, let them sleep in the middle" and for goodness sake hug them every chance you get. Let the dishes go, let the laundry wait another day, and maybe the maid might get it when she's through playing. LOL
Love to all,
Sweet Southern Sass