Why You Still Here

I'm kinda thinking I'm on a roll this week.  I posted about your mama didn't do it this way the other day and I had a friend message me something just as funny and of course I have a story.  So I will just share with ya'll and hope it makes you smile or as I like to say laugh out loud.

Her story goes something like this.  She has been divorced for many years, but her mama still has her wedding pictures up and won't take them down.  Well my story is similar but at least my pictures aren't up where I have to see the CHB every time I go see my mama, which is every Sunday.  I would tell you what CHB means but my mama would give me a whooping, 'cause it ain't nice.  LOL

My story goes back several years ago we made my mama a scrap book with all our wedding pictures and added our kids pictures as they came along.  This might not be exact but this is my story.  Since I had a real wedding this time (meaning I didn't run off to Walhalla, SC) like I did the first time I was proud to add my beautiful wedding pictures to this album for my mama.   I was in LOVE, so that made me want to put extra ones, which of course I did.  For ya'll that know me, you know that LOVE didn't last so every time I pick that book up and look at it, I want to rip those lovely pictures right out of there.  That's when my mama speaks up and says something to the effect of  "that's my book, you ain't taking anything out of there."  So guess what?  20 years later those stinking pictures are still in that book.

The funnier story (to me) is about my lovely wedding pictures I mentioned earlier.  We had lots of wedding pictures as every bride and groom does and bought the photo album to go with it.  I mean you want to be able to look back every now and then how beautiful a bride you were and hopefully see that the groom was equally as handsome.  We both fit this description at the wedding but there is one problem with my wedding pictures now.   I cut the groom out of EVERY one of them.  Yep, I ain't kidding, every one of them.  He may have been all handsome in that black western tux and cowboy hat, but apparently that wasn't enough to keep me from getting all crazy and cutting him out.  Lord have mercy what was I thinking?   Evidently I wasn't, those things cost a lot of money.


Lesson today?  If you find yourself staring at an ex picture at your mama's, just remember that Bible verse in Exodus that tells us to honor our mother and father.  I for one am not going to argue with that, so when my mama tells me that's her book, well alrighty then...I'm not about to take any pictures out. I may be however old I'm not telling, but I'm still scared of my mama.  Yep, she might be older too, but I ain't waiting around to find out if she can still give me a whooping 'cause I know she could and would if she thought I needed it.

This brings to mind the old cliche'.if mama ain't happy, ain't nobdy happy.  So for the sake of any argument, let's just smile and agree with mama.  Don't look at that book more than you have too and just look the other way when you visit and the ex picture is still on the piano.

Don't Think Mama Done It This Way

Hold on ya'll, here is another funny one.  Last week I heard the song Don't Think Hank Done It This Way and it reminded me of a story my mama tells all the time about my daddy.  So I'm going to share hoping to save some poor soul from making the mistake my daddy made. 

Mama said when they first got married, she made bread and butter pickles 'cause my daddy liked them.  I'm sure knowing my mama and her cooking, they were good pickles, but my daddy had the nerve to tell her they didn't taste like his mama's.  Oh Lord, was he crazy?  Evidently, because my mama said probably not, I'm not your mama.  This might have just been the last time my daddy got bread and butter pickles, at least from my mama.

So this leads me to my very own mama didn't do it this way story.  When I first married I cooked some pinto beans.  Being young and not ever taking the time to learn how to cook, the pinto beans burned.  It doesn't take a rocket scientist to figure out the beans weren't good, but my husband (kinda like my daddy) must have had a temporary lack of judgement because he just blurted it right out.  "These don't taste like my mama's.  Well, you think?  I am my mama's child, so I politely, yes politely said... of course they don't, they're burned!!!  Ya'll don't need me to finish this story, 'cause you know how it ends.  No more pinto beans for him!!

This brings me to my son and his mama didn't do it this way story.  When he first got married his wife made I think chicken & dumplings for dinner.  His wife really didn't make them the way me or my mama made them and of course the first thing out of my son's mouth was these don't taste like mama's.  Crazy kid, did I not teach him anything?  He got lucky, his sweet wife wasn't as feisty as me and my mama, she asked me how I made them.  Bless her heart she was in love.   Needless to say I didn't want my son to never get chicken & dumplings again, so I put a bug in his ear not to EVER and I mean EVER say something doesn't taste like his mama's.  Then I proceeded to tell him why.

Lesson today?  VERY SIMPLE...don't ever tell your wife, girlfriend or significant other that something doesn't taste like your mama's.  It might be best that you eat it (if you can) 'cause you might just never get it again and it might just be your favorite food they tried to make.  I mean seriously I bet your mama had to make it many times before she mastered it.  That is of course if someone didn't say those famous words, "this don't taste like my mama's" and she tried it again.

  LOVE TO ALL,
 Sweet Southern Sass

Let's Get Fabulicious

OK this might be a little short post but I've had this word  FABULICIOUS stuck in my head all day!  I've got my idea what it means, but I wanted to see what the trusty little internet had to say and this is what I found.  A combination of fabulous and delicious; someone or something so gorgeous or perfect that you could eat it up.

Well alrighty then...something so fabulous or delicious, something gorgeous.   Ya'll better sit down on this one 'cause it's about to get good up in here.

Since this is my blog, and I'm in control for the time being, the one thing I can think of that would fit this description of fabulicious is Agent Derrick Morgan, aka Hondo, aka Shemar Moore.   Lord have mercy and for the love of Peter, Paul and Mary how could anyone not think he's fabulicious?  He definitely had a good dentist 'cause he's got the pearliest of pearl white teeth I've ever seen.  And when he smiles, he could make a grown woman cry.

So going with the flow as Merle Haggard says, this made up word could be used to describe something totally different than the man Agent Derrick Morgan, but for this sassy little southern thang I can't think of a better word to describe him.

Ya'll might think this post is a little shallow, but that's OK 'cause I've said many times I don't pick my Nascar driver's by their driving ability and I don't pick my favorite football player because of their talent.  It's more like how they look in their driver suit and ain't nothing wrong watching a few "tight ends."    I probably just got myself in a whole lot of trouble if my mama reads this, but she's known me for about (well let's just say a few years) and she ain't surprised at anything I say or in this case write.  BTW, my favorite country singers wear Wrangler jeans and ya'll know what they say about Wrangler jeans.

I'm not sure I can find a lesson in this craziness but I'm thinking ya'll  need to google this word fabulicious. Close your eyes and see what comes to mind that is so fabulously, deliciously gorgeous it makes you smile..  It doesn't have to be crazy like what I just wrote, but if it's something that makes you giggle or smile a little bit, then I've done my job.  I've written something that maybe took your mind away from the troubles of the day and hopefully made you laugh at this crazy self.

Love to all,
Sweet Southern Sass

Beautiful Crazy

"Her day starts with a coffee and ends with a wine.  Takes forever to get ready so she's never on time for anything.  Beautiful crazy, the way she dances, ain't afraid to take chances and wears her heart on her sleeve.  Yeah, she's crazy but her crazy's beautiful to me."  Luke Combs

As promised here is a little something, something on why Luke Combs might just know me. HaHa

My day definitely starts with coffee, sometimes ends with a wine and I ain't never on time.  But didn't I hear somewhere it's better to be fashionably late than to arrive ugly and don't they say a glass of wine at night is good for the heart?   So what's wrong with either of these?  Nothing, says this sassy southern girl.

I wasn't exactly sure what wears my heart on the sleeve means so I checked it out on the trusty internet.  I mean  if you read it on the internet it's true, right?  So the trusty internet says it means that  you show your real feelings, is open and honest, and the complete opposite of the devious hater.  Lawd help me but if this is right then I guess I definitely wear my heart on my sleeve and if y'all know me, you don't have to worry about what I'm thinking.  If I think it, I say it and sometimes that's not a good thing.  I'm not a hater, unless we're talking football and if you love anyone other than the DAWGS, I might just be a little devious about that.

I always have plans for the weekends even if it's just staying at home, which is rare.  Staying at home means not getting out of my PJ's all day, no makeup and binge watching one or more of my favorite TV shows or Hallmark movies.  Yep, I'm guilty...I love Christmas in July Hallmark movies.  My other binge show watching is usually repeat CSI or Criminal Minds.  So miss Horatacio on CSI and Agent Derrick Morgan on Criminal Minds.  However...Agent Derrick Morgan is now Hondo on the new S.W.A.T. show.  I will give you two guesses why he's my favorite.   One, he's HOTT and two he's HOTT.   Yes, I know, I'm shallow to a point but hey the song says she's crazy so I must not disappoint.

I am definitely unpredictable and I've been told I'm unforgettable.  Now this might be interesting because that could be I'm unforgettable because I'm a pain in the rear or because I'm crazy beautiful!  I prefer the later, but either works because it doesn't change the fact that I am what I am and I'm probably not changing any time soon.  However, I do hope to find that special someone who will be a fool for me and think I'm crazy beautiful and not a pain in the rear.

Lesson today?  I bet y'all are wondering how in the world can she get a lesson from this?  Well hold on 'cause I got one.  I want all you sassy ladies out there to look in the mirror right now and say to self...Self, you are crazy beautiful and I love you just the way you are!  Go ahead, no one is listening but you, so just do it!

  I've always been the type not to worry about what people say. I've always beat to my own drum and usually it's to a different beat than everyone else.  So go ahead, put on your biggest smile, walk out that door and show 'em what you got. Show 'em just how crazy beautiful you are and if you don't feel like going out, put on your best PJ's, curl up on the couch and binge watch your favorite TV shows.  One word of advise though, make sure it's got Hondo or Agent Derrick Morgan in it and you won't be disappointed.

 LOVE TO ALL,
 Sweet Southern Sass

Keeper Of The Stars

"It was no accident me finding you.  Someone had a hand in it long before we ever knew." Tracy Byrd

Oh my gosh why in the world did this song get stuck in my head?  It was played at my wedding 1997 and I still can't listen to the entire song.  It certainly wasn't an accident that I met him.  I mean he was leaning on a pole with his black cowboy hat on and I just walked right up and asked him to dance.  Yep, I surely did.  I'm sure the keeper of the stars thought I was crazy but it didn't stop me from falling cowboy boots, hat and big ole belt buckle for this bow-legged cowboy.  Ya'll wondering what this means?

He tipped that dang hat more times than I can count that night and his smile just made me think the keeper knew what he was doing when he put that cowboy in my sights.  Now at the time I thought he was the best thing this side of the Mississippi and it took me a whole bunch of years to figure it out that he was only the best thing yonder side of Buford.   I will give him credit though...on our wedding day he was the bomb dot com as my friend likes to say.  He looked like a million dollars in that tux and yes that black cowboy hat and boots.  The twinkley white lights made his smile shine like the one I saw when I first met him and all I could think was "cowboy take me away."  LOL

OK I was about to get on a man bashing roll but decided ya'll might not want to read that junk so instead I'm just going to make you laugh a little bit by quoting a  Dolly Pardon song that reminds me of the first time I saw him.   "Why'd you come in here lookin' like that in your cowboy boots and your painted-on jeans, all decked out like a cowgirl's dream.  Why you almost givin' me a heart attack when you waltz right in here lookin' like that."  Lord help me I bet he's still wearing those same "painted on jeans."

Lesson today?  I'm not sure I have one but let's just roll with it.  When old feelings start creeping up, don't dwell on it too long.  Think about it, feel the hurt, but don't feel it too long.  It might cause you to do something stupid and call the ex and we certainly don't want that.  So feel it, take a walk, see God's beauty and let it go.  Leave all those bad thoughts right outside your door, don't bring that stuff in, it ain't welcome in our house.  Now go ahead, lock that door, grab a glass of sweet tea and sleep tight.  And instead of a sad "Keeper of The Stars" song,  I'm sharing "Why'd You Come In Here Lookin' Like That."   That'll make you smile.

  LOVE TO ALL,
   Sweet Southern Sass

Crazy Beautiful

"She's got big brown eyes and tangled hair, voguing in her underwear and nothing is better than doing nothing together now.  She's got a toothbrush as a microphone belting out the Rolling Stones.  I'm the last one to stop her, can't believe that I got her."  Andy Grammar

Good morning and welcome to my world of crazy.   LOL  Big brown eyes, yep I got 'em, tangled hair, yep every day.   I got the Farrah Faucet look today, wings and all.  Well I do have an excuse.  My hair dresser got married and she's busy.  But hey I'm looking vogue with all that hair, sprayed to heaven.  I ain't got a toothbrush in my hand but I'm rocking the air drums on my way to work this morning listening to my favorite morning DJ Diva playing this exact song on the radio.  Yep, it's a sight to see, a pretend Farrah playing the drums, singing to the top of my lungs, tooling right along the highway like I ain't got a care in the world.

Trust me I got a style of my own.  Not so sure it's classic, but it's one of a kind and one that probably no one wants to copy.   I've never been told my smile can be heard through the telephone but I bet when I've got a belly laugh going on you might hear a snort or two.  Are ya'll getting the picture yet? I'm one kinda crazy and the only hellion my mama raised.

A little bit wild, a little bit mad, and a little bit beautiful wild and little bit bad.  Good Lord how can I be described in such few words?  I'm a little bit all the above.  Wild at heart with a gypsy soul which means I wonder a lot.  Get it?  Not wander, like wandering lost, but wonder because I'm always wondering what the heck.  I don't get mad often but when I'm mad, I'm mad and I ain't gonna "cry pretty."   Not sure that makes me beautiful but it certainly will make me a little bit bad 'cause if I'm mad, I'm probably gonna do something stupid because I'm horrible at thinking before I act.  But...I am practicing this thing they say do of counting to 10.  My problem is by the time I get to about four or five, I forget what I'm mad about any way.  So there you go, guess that counting to 10 stuff works.

This one is a little short today, but I need the laugh and who better to laugh at than myself.  Hello world here comes crazy, Farrah hair and all.

Lesson today?  For the love of Peter, Paul and Mary...who knows but  I will come up with something here in a minute.   Just for today, live in the moment, show up like you're meant to be there, be humble and kind, and if living in the moment becomes unpleasant, eat a cookie.   I sure hope my day is pleasant 'cause if I eat a cookie, it will be the whole bag, especially if it's Oreo's.

  LOVE TO ALL,
  Sweet Southern Sass

A Little Want To

"There ain't no excuse that's what my mama said.  You gotta get up and get outta bed.  Roll up your sleeves, put your back into it.  If you gonna get it done then you better get to it."  Reba McEntire

Lord have mercy I don't remember hearing these exact words from my mama, but I'm pretty sure I heard something pretty close.  Probably more like, you better get up, if you can rip and romp all night, you can get up and go to church.  Now her definition of "all night" and mine were way different.  Mine meant getting home somewhere close to the time she told me too.  Her's was more like be there before she told me too.  Ya'll that have been following me know I'm not a rule follower so if mama said be home at 12:00, I'm gonna be late come hell or high water.  Not to be defiant, that's just the way I roll. 

"A little nothing I can't do attitude."  This takes me back a few years, well more like 40+ years when I played basketball.  I'm one of those people that you don't tell me I can't do something because I will probably let you know real quick, I can do anything I want too, but more than anything I will do it just because you said I couldn't.  This one particular coach told me I would never play for him because I was too short.  My Junior year I won MVP of the Lanierland Tournament.  I so wish the song "How You Like Me Now" was written 'cause I would have certainly sung it to him.  

Having a little want to inside of you is such great words.  Listening to the song I wonder how many people fail because they just don't have the want to.   Maybe their home life isn't as good as it should be, maybe they're out of a job or maybe they just feel like a failure.  Trust me folks, I've been out of a job and more times than one I've felt like a failure, but you just got to put your favorite pair of boots on and pick yourself up.  Pick yourself up and get that little want to inside that will make you keep trying.  You know the saying if at first you don't succeed, try, try again?  Well heck yeah many times it's taken me more than one or two tries but after three or four times I usually get it right even if it's making the same mistake again.

No matter what people say, dreams do come true.  I've never been famous for anything but don't you know Reba was told many times that singing would get her nowhere?  Look at her now, one of the biggest female singers in country music.  She definitely had that nothing I can't do attitude and it's taken her a long way.  She's gotten knocked down a few times, I mean she just went through a divorce after way many years.  I'm sure she felt like giving up but look at her now, if the tabloids are right, she's in love again.   I bet she put on her favorite boots and told her self, self "ain't nobody got time for this." 

Lesson today?  Look at the picture below.  It took me a minute to figure it out, had to read it a second time, but it's true.  If you think you can, you will.  If you think you can't, you won't.  Don't get caught up in thinking you can't.  Don't let what someone tells you be the reason you give up.  I remember as a kid hearing the saying "can't never could", well how true is that.  If you think you can't you probably won't, so go ahead and put on your favorite pair of boots, grab holt of your "I can do anything attitude," put on your big girl panties and for the love of Peter, Paul and Mary just do it!!!   Go ahead and reach for the stars, give it your best shot doing what you've always wanted to do and didn't have the I can do anything attitude.  Come on, I got cha back 'cause I want you to be the best you can at whatever you want to do.

  LOVE TO ALL,
 SWEET SOUTHERN SASS